I always thought that death or missing someone very close will change me, BUT what I discovered is really different..

When they told me to come back to my house for three days, I knew that sth unusual happened, but no one told me that I lose my brother forever!
My military service isn't so difficult, but isolation there is the real problem. I can remember when I get out camp I felt that my life in danger!

It was wrong feeling, in that moment I wanted to cry or to do sth crazy.. at that moment I didn't know that my heart will break.

After four hours, I was in our flat in Tartus on the coast, when I smelled the sea i smelled sth so black, but I couldn't distinguish that it's death.

When I entered our flat I see black dresses and tears in eyes. I searched for my mom then dad then my heart squeezed tightly and my brain got out my head. Who is missing? Majd or samer? I didn't want to hear any of these names, majd older then me two years. SAmer is younger than me six years.

then dad told me that majd is passed away.
Death isn't frightening as I thought! I'm now more fanatic for life. I want to live interesting life not to think about fame or wealth. I can say that my brother death gave me the meaning of life, simplicity, smile and adventure.