PHOENICIA

I was at my origin village in the mountains. life there is pretty beautiful.
although my town is small one, but I always feel the differences between two lives.

I took a look for olives tree, to see if we have great job to do this year or not.. but it seems that harvest will not take long time maybe just one week without this hard efforts.
what I concentrate on is grapes, because my family used to make Arak (Alcoholic drink), it's not my favorite but lunch or good dinner without it is something hurts!
anyway grapes also so so, but we bought some grapes to mix it with ours to make it more tasty

also my relatives in village make it more exciting for me especially my cousins. they are good kids.. they always wait for me because they have a thought that computer games in city is better that ones in village! when I come to the village they shout for each other to see the new game. they make me excited to discover it too!!! because I don't know what it is
it's funny time with them.

I can say that I changed myself! I used to do this every big or critical events I pass…

I can't stop thinking of changes. I want change and I need it.
sometimes I do it without feeling and sometimes I fell into it like diving in deep water.
I'll join the military service after 7 weeks. I'll change there. I'm sure but what I dislike is obligatory changing, so I change myself this week. I stop reading any interesting novels I use to read, and turn myself to military novels even old one like George Oroel (I don't know how they write it in English) Homage to catalonia!!

it's really necessary to change, because our life is change, aome of my friends wated to change in fast way so they suicide!!! it's was disastrous change… at least for me.
I like that change that some ancient Greek philosopher (Zhinon) talked about:
"you can't change the world around you, but you can change your self"

It was bad days for me.. I'm sad to say that it still.
everything changed after awful nightmare. I dreamed that scorpion or snake attack me from ceiling… I felt scared and turn three times them fell on the land strongly then hide under the bed, trying to remove this awful thing without result!!

next day my brother told me that I was shouting like crazy.
my brother said to me: " I hit you endless hits without benefit. I thought that you lost your mind.. I was scared for this idea. I never see someone shouting in this way before!"

now my back and leg hurt me. I feel sad three days ago and I still… I was very happy what's happened?
my friend said that she knew this status… she said " someone envied you Kenan!!!!!"
I'm poor guy! what do they envy me for?????